Beware of Pride

Have you ever tried to resolve a problem or plan a project with a stubborn or prideful person?  It isn’t fun, is it? People who won’t give an inch or won’t listen to your advice/input can be very difficult to work with.  We look in the mirror and often think we are humble and willing to listen to other people’s input, when most of the time we are mistaken. H. Wallace Goddard explains this very well.

“Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage”, by H. Wallace Goddard

“The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite.  We are to fix ourselves by repenting and to love others. It is not surprising that we have difficulties in marriage. We so often do the very things that will destroy our relationships.”

The way to happiness is not asking a person to change all of their small faults or the irritations you have with them, it is looking inside yourself and trying to figure out how you can change your view on things. We don’t have to change our view of our spouse alone; we have our Father in Heaven, who has let us call upon him to perfect ourselves.   Ezra Taft Benson tells why we need to be more humble and how we can turn to God for help. 

 “Beware of Pride”, Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, May 1989

“Pride adversely affects all our relationships--Our relationship with God and His servants, between husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, teacher and student, and all mankind.  Our degree of pride determines how we treat our God and our brothers and sisters.  Christ wants to lift us to where He is.  Do we desire to do the same for others?.... We must yield “to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,” put off the prideful “natural man,” become “a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, “and become “as a child, submissive, meek, humble.”

Marriage can be difficult if one or both of us is prideful.  Think about digging a hole for your new pool with a small hand shovel.  As you start, things seem okay.  You get past the soft dirt and into the next layer and you begin to hit rocks.  You look at the size of the area and the depth you need to dig and you ask yourself, why do I have to dig a hole for a pool?  The question is not the pool, because you know the pool will be refreshing and relaxing when finished, but it is what can I do to help dig this hole better?  The answer is simple, get a better tool.  Get a larger shovel.  This is like a relationship.  You have a pool to dig, a spouse with who you can enjoy life, but it’s not their fault that you don’t like some things they do.  Change your tool and you can enjoy your spouse for who he/she is. Goddard explains why we might think it is our partners fault and not our own. 

"Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage", by H. Wallace Goddard

“While the natural man is inclined to think that the problem is our partner, the man of Christ knows that the irritation is probably the result of some faulty thinking-some troublesome assumption and expectation nested in our unconscious.”

Let us all find a better tool we have stored in the back of our messy shed and change how we dig.  We can be humble and learn to love and listen to our spouses to have a happier and more enjoyable marriage.