Fidelity

Have you ever had a best friend you had a struggle or frustrations with?  Often times, we don’t always talk to our best friend about it.  Although the problem or quarrel can be solved much easier, we complain to others and seek comfort from people we don’t value as much as our best friend. Why do we do this?  Why do we seek love from less than our best friend?  We are prideful.  We don’t want to talk to our friend if he or she hurt our feelings.  This is the opposite of what we should do.  We need to comfort our friend and work with them to solve this frustrations and conflict.  The guidance is the very same in marriage.  The more distant we are from our spouse, the more we confide or seek comfort from others.  If these people are the opposite sex, it could have devastating consequences.

“Purity” Brother Goddard

This is an example of progression of unfaithfulness

• Behaviors that seem innocent(doing good, helping in some capacity)
• An affection grows that claims part of one’s heart
• Extramarital flirting. Justification- “no harm intended”
• Relationship declared as “special”
• Opportunities created to see “special fiend” (one worries what others will say/think)
• Excuses made, lies told to hide time and resources spent on other person
• Spouse is displaced. Emotional intimacy exchanged with “special friend”
• Faultfinding with spouse
• Fantasies about other person
• Physical affection-a squeeze, a kiss, a hug
• Sexual relations

We know sexual relations do n ot just happen out of nowhere.  This progression is exactly what Satan does when it comes to sin.  Little by little he tempts us and tries to distort our way of thinking.  As we push our spouse away, we have to feel that space with something and someone and it leads to dangerous regrettable mistakes.  I’ve spoken about all the bad that can happen, what do we do to avoid all of this negativity and separation from our spouse? We learn to love them.  A student at BYU Idaho struggled with some of these early on unfaithful actions.  She was able to turn it all around and re kindle that love and growth with her husband.  He is her experience.

Unknown

“As I read the chapter on purity I was horrified.  Tears filled my eyes when I realized that I was in those beginning stages of being unfaithful.  The thought of being unfaithful to my sweetheart is disgusting to me, and yet in a way I was playing with emotional infidelity.  I really love the quote, “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence you water.” It is so true! My friendship was not bad, but what was bad was that I was putting energy into the friendship that should have been put into my marriage.  I made a strict commitment to myself and the Lord that I would not share my heart with anyone but my husband and Him.  I had been thinking about my friend worrying about him, a lot, and I decided that was the end and cut it out of my mind.  My friend has other people and the Lord to take care of him.  I changed my usual route waling to class, knowing that I would sometimes run into him on that route.  I stopped talking to him on the computer. All of the energy, thoughts, time on the computer everything I turned over to my husband, plus more. I am again looking for little acts of service I can do to show my husband how much I totally adore him. I am doing the things to build our relationship spiritually and to give God His place in our marriage. I want to have the greenest, most beautiful grass on the side of the fence where my husband is, and I will not let anything in to harm it.  I haven’t spoken to my husband about this wake-up call, but I think he has felt and noticed the changes.”

We all make mistakes and get frustrated with those around us.  It is our duty and responsibility to keep the fidelity between us and our spouse.  Take a breath before making a regrettable decision and think of all the good qualities your spouse possess.  None of us want to lose that and we won’t as we stick to them and are faithful to them.